Joke Thread

K9 Carlos · Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 3:34 pm Post subject: Joke Thread

Three politicians in a bar were discussing where they liked their wives to be during sex.

The Republican said, "On the bottow of course, as God intended."

The Independent said, "I see nothing wrong with the woman being on top."

The Democrat said, "I prefer my wife to be out of town."
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-=|CT|=- K9 Carlos

SupaFly wrote:

barreling axe is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway these days

Quote:

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.

Last edited by K9 Carlos on Wed Feb 08, 2006 9:50 am; edited 2 times in total

K9 Carlos · Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 9:20 am Post subject:

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other

cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been

drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
_________________
-=|CT|=- K9 Carlos

SupaFly wrote:

barreling axe is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway these days

Quote:

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.

Wang Chung · Posted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 3:39 pm Post subject:

A grizzly gimpy ol' pirate hobbled into a bar and had a seat. He told the innkeep to fill his tankard while he unscrewed his pegleg and rudely plopped it on the bar. The fellow next to him turned and said

"Hey, what's up with the pegleg?"

The pirate replied, "Yarr.. 'twas a long time ago... I be searchin for buried treasure and all of a sudden a komodo came from no where and ripped it right off!!!"

"I see..." said the man wearily. "How about the hook?"

"Oh this? Yarr... twas me first day with the new leg ... I was raidin' a ship and ran too fast and felll .. cut it with me own sword..."

"Oh sniggity snap" said the shnag "Now tell me about that eyepatch?"

"Harharhar.. first day with me hook and I got somethin' in me eye"
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is now -=|CT|=- Frothy Mixture

ThRiLLkiLL · Posted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 9:46 am Post subject: bad joke

What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing you already told her twice.

Rally Monkey · Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 6:06 pm Post subject:

Question: How do you get a nun pregnant?

Answer: Dress her up like an Altar Boy

Comradekil · Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 9:03 pm Post subject:

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Cargo

Cargo who?

car go beep beep
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Wang Chung · Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2005 10:14 pm Post subject:

You old people have the best jokes ever, especially that one Rally.
_________________
is now -=|CT|=- Frothy Mixture

Peachy Pete · Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 8:44 pm Post subject:

Saw this as someone's away message, and it tickled me:

You know that porn has become and addiction when you are at the gas station filling your tank and right when you are about to top it off, you withdraw and spew gass all over your car.
_________________

"The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows." -Frank Zappa
3/30/2005 14:39:55 : # [Global] -=|CT|=- K9 Carlos: we're gonna auction your boat on Ebay

K9 Carlos · Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:23 pm Post subject:

Circumcised

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was
squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.

She went back to find out what was going on.

He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office.

He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.

He did it and returned to his class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.
She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with
his penis hanging out.

"I thought I told you to call your Mom" She screamed.

"I did", he said,

"And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon ,
she would come and get me."
_________________
-=|CT|=- K9 Carlos

SupaFly wrote:

barreling axe is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway these days

Quote:

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.