Best Break-Up Letter - ROFL

Wang Chung · Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 3:34 am Post subject: Best Break-Up Letter - ROFL

I don't really like shit that people forward to other people in email - usually it's real lame. I feel like it's like Digg for old people, or something.

But this is just too good. Got this from the Ultimate listserv:

Quote:

Yes, This is a forward. Yes, it is worth reading. Sorry if yall have already
seen this and I am just way out of the loop, but its pretty good. This is an
email conversation between between two UGA students, and the guy¹s
girlfriend cheated on him by blowing one of his friends in the bathroom at
the bar they were all at. Enjoy!

>> Yo guys my bud on my team got this forwarded to him from his friend at
>> UGA. This guy's girlfriend cheated on him and she wrote him an email
>> to apologize. His response is hilarious. The first paragraph is the
>> girl and the second is the guy's response. Enjoy.

>
>
>>

Quote:

>> Brad,
>> It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right
>> now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying
>> that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all
>> the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last
>> person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse
>> at all for anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to
>> say all
>> of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can
>> handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even
>> handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't
>> handle is thinking that you see me as a different person. It is weird,
>> the world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid
>> me, there
>> are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I don't
>> know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you
>> didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping
>> that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally
>> crazy and stupid, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally
>> strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior
>> didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you
>> hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a
>> terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say
>> or do to take back what happened. I am so sorry.
>>
>> Elizabeth

>
>
>>

Quote:

>> Dear Elizabeth,
>>
>> Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under 'L' for
>> 'Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less
>> about'. You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and
>> forgetting to carry the one is 'a stupid thing'; Mixing in a red Sock
>> with a load of whites is 'a stupid thing'; Blowing some guy in a
>> bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're
>> taking so long because you ate too much raisin bran that morning isn't
>> as much a 'Stupid thing' as it is grounds for permanent removal from
>> my social calendar. To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing
>> that you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once, but
>> twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying
>> 'Well, I didn't Fuck him' somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive
>> me if I couldn't care less if the world 'looked funny' to you
>> yesterday. Since your World revolves around blow dryers, golden
>> retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been
>> most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings
>> for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't
>> think you're a terrible
>> person, they just think you're the average run of the mill
>> cum-guzzling blonde who commands about as much respect as your average
>> child porn collector.
>>
>> By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class
>> you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs
>> you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little
>> like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.
>>
>> PS. I forwarded this email to about 100 people.
>>
>> Talk to you never,
>>
>> Brad
>>
>> 205.833.2446 (o) 205.833.6659 (f)

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is now -=|CT|=- Frothy Mixture

AxeBlind · Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 4:17 am Post subject:

Wow, that response was brilliant.
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Reegad · Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 4:22 am Post subject:

Poor guy :/.. what a whore.

now thats outta the way.. HAHA I FUCKING LOL'D xD
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Erwin Rommel wrote:

-=|CT|R|=-Erdős Pál: hello brother
-=|CT|=- Reegad: hello sister
-=|CT|=- Reegad: xD

Cap'n Sprite · Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 9:46 am Post subject:

OHH SNAP~!
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massive · Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 10:59 am Post subject:

hahahha! Even if the whole thing was made up, still brilliant.
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Vlad Piranha wrote:

I'm offended that a zombie holocaust isn't on the list. It would be terrifying, sure, but it would be pretty sweet if you think about it.

Erwin Rommel · Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:41 pm Post subject:

Damn...
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-=|CT|=-Descartes

Special Jimmy · Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:57 pm Post subject:

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-=|CT|=-Special Jimmy

Wang Chung wrote:

MikeSty 22: they say Rome wasn't built in a day
MikeSty 22: but they never had the Fucking Cut Throats

RK-Mara · Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 5:49 pm Post subject:

That's hot.
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Roscoe · Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:00 am Post subject:

What made me laugh was Rk's new avatar...no clue where it's from or who it is but damn Laughing

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RK-Mara · Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2009 4:04 am Post subject:

Roscoe wrote:

What made me laugh was Rk's new avatar...no clue where it's from or who it is but damn Laughing

Never seen Porco Rosso? Razz

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