Dog Owner Advice

massive · Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 10:55 am Post subject: Dog Owner Advice

This is a repost from my old SVS days (ugh), but I dug it up last night when it came up in a conversation with Wang - and thought some here may benefit from the conclusion of this thesis:

Quote:

*DISCLAIMER*
if you own a dog, you can relate and maybe even benefit from this topic -
all others no need to read any further

i recently aquired a dog (long story). if you have a dog you may know that when you bring a

dog home, other things suddenly appear in your yard that are not the dog, yet they are a

direct result of the dog ... namely ... dog shit.

ok - this was not unexpected. dogs need to shit, i accept that. but my question was: "why do

they shit so damn much?" i typically pick up the shit once a day, and noticed that there were

3.5 piles on average

i must be - um i dunno - 4 or even 5 times the size of said dog and i bet i shit maybe 1.3

times per day on average. the problem was: too much shit in the yard and the question: what

was causing this unnatural phenomenon?

after several inquiries of seasoned dog owners - i summed up that most dog owners are full of

shit as well, or at least not wanting to admit that they actually have shit on the grass in

their back yards. undaunted, i persisted and finally came upon an old man who was clearly

eager to talk all day about dogs and shit.

after long dissertations about the texture and various colors of dog shit, i finally gleaned

the tid bit of information i was looking for. and it should have been so simple - it comes

right down to the quality of the dog food you feed it. garbage in = garbage out, and damn lots

of it.

it appears that the old man was right, i looked at the ingredients in the stupid puppy chow,

and the first one listed is corn. consulted mighty google, and find out corn does not digest

easily and pretty much goes right through (you may have experienced this your self, peering

into the throne to see what the hell stinks so bad) corn is appearantly in a lot of cheap dog

food. (stupid purina, wolves never ate corn, why should dogs?)

so out to the store i go to purchase some quality dog food. i find some - suprisingly not that

much more $ than puppy chow - that does not have much corn in it. the pet guru said to

gradually wean the dog off the corn filled crap and onto the good stuff - otherwise the shit

will flow much faster than desired. agreed, not desired.

well, i am happy to report, 1 week after introducing quality food, the amount of shit in my

yard has rapidly decreased to a normal, somewhat acceptable pile-to-dog ratio that i can deal

with.

hope this helps you decrease the amount of shit you need to deal with on a daily basis.

- Massive Pooper Scooper

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I'm offended that a zombie holocaust isn't on the list. It would be terrifying, sure, but it would be pretty sweet if you think about it.

ChrisT · Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 12:38 pm Post subject:

ha, I'm g2g check the bag right now Razz

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AxeBlind · Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 12:50 pm Post subject:

Thats why I live in the country, dog can shit all over the pasture for what I care. Also why I won't have a dog at an apartment, I'll take a cat.
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ChrisT · Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 1:26 pm Post subject:

hah a cat person, kill him
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AlMightyBob · Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 2:08 pm Post subject:

dogs are annoying, gimme a fuzzy cat anyday Very Happy

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Drunken Monkey · Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 2:09 pm Post subject:

YARRR! kill the cat loving falc whore Twisted Evil

to arms!
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YAT YAS

if You Ain't Tracks, You Ain't Shit

Bunny · Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 3:34 pm Post subject:

Pffft bunnies pwn all Laughing

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Erwin Rommel · Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 4:10 pm Post subject:

You think dogs shit?

Get a parrot.

I turn my back and the area under Rosie's cage is covered with a greenish-black coating...
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