50 truths about bf2

SupaFly · Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 7:46 pm Post subject: 50 truths about bf2

found these digging around in the total bf2 forums, pretty funny

1. If you spot an enemy before he sees you, chances are you will die.

2. The probability of killing someone is inversely proportional to how much you want to kill him.

3. For every good thing done, something bad happens.

4. If you see a bunch of easy targets in front of you, you will miss all of them and die.

5.You have a better chance of throwing a handfull of sniper rifle bullets and killing the enemy, than shooting them at him .

6.For every one enemy you kill with mines, you will kill 2 friendlies and they will both punish the TK .

7.Idiots have a unique pheromone receptor which can sense a friendly arty strike. Once initiated they run to the center of the strike like moths to a flame, thrust their noses in the air and put there finger on the PgDn button ready for the climax!

8.Thou shalt always respawn into an arty strike or a massive unfriendly assault and die before you can do anything.

9.A dune buggy slowly slipping down a gentle slope is the most brutal and deadly thing in the game if you're standing in its path.

10.When fleeing from an enemy, you will be shot to death, inches away from your cover.

11.when a gunner in a helo, chances are u got the worst pilot u can think of

12.When you have no money chances are your joystick will go funny.

13.If someone with an ak101 happens to glance at you, you will instantly die of fear.

14.No matter what weapon you carry, it will take over half a magazine to attempt to kill the guy that take you out with a three round burst or less.

15.Holding right mouse button when throwing a grenade changes throw length from feet to inches.

16.Even with the dexterity to balance the blade of his knife on his finger, a soldier will constantly miss when lunging to stab a stationary enemy.

17.Somehow, a man can take a 50.cal sniper round to the chest WITHOUT DYING.

18.Your pistol is a much better sniper rifle than your .50cal rifle

19.A crescent wrench can fix anything

20.You can raise a flag in a tank.

21.Seconds before you get your hard-earned Flag-Capture Point, an Enemy will pop up and kill you, giving the Capture Point to your Team-Mate .

22.After shooting an enemy Tank to low Health with your APC, your Gun will overheat and a Team-Mate will grab the kill, leaving you with not even a Kill-Assist.

23.You will never be able to swim away fast enough from an accidently drowned Jeep.

24.Claymores only kill foolish teammates.

25.If you want an enemy to abandon an armoured vehicle, run at it from the rear and let them see you doing it, they'll jump out.

26.No matter what, dephibulators cure all

27.the pinnacle of aviation technology cannot help a bomb hit its target

28.all vehicles have electrical armour plating, as when u touch it, ur dead

29.The more you press the 9 key to deploy a chute, the less likley the chute will deploy

30.You spawn right next to the enemy tank.

31.If you want to be a sniper you should choose Anti-Tank Class.

32.Just as you detonate the C4 on the UAV trailer, two to three teammates will drive up in a jeep right next to the detonation site.

33.No matter how much you shoot a guy parachuting down, he will never take any damage. And, when he gets down you are out of ammo and he kills you.

34.You are killed after a 10 minute run to an enemy flag, right before you reach it.

35.Water is extremly flamable and will cause vehicles to explode.

36.If your ina group and run into a single enemy, you WILL die first.

37.Confucious say: When commander drop supply crate from sky, look up or you will endure headache until next spawn

38.Confucious say: Man with handful of wheat will hit enemy more than with M229 SAW.

39.Spawning is more like a race to the heli.

40.A tank thats motionless while capturing a flag will wait until you run up behind it to plant C4 before the drivers cat steps on the S key and kills you.

41.Just after you found a great Spot to snipe from, while taking careful Aim at a Group of Enemies - you will be knifed from behind.

42.After taking a few well-aimed Shots at an Enemy, he will spin around and kill you with a single round from his MP5.

43.You must be the fattest person in the army as you cannot fit through a 3 foot wide gap between the bamboo

44.After throwing a pack of C4 ontop of a smoking tank, and pulling out detonator, the remaining C4 (in your pocket) will magically explode...every time.

45.If you are capping a flag alone in a tank the one enemy that manages to spawn in time will be a spec op...

46.If you are capping a flag and once it goes neutral you hear arty guns firing in the distance, run like #@$%!!!

47.If you need tank support, drop a mine on the road and a friendly tank will show up in no time...

48.If you respawn as an anti-tank the tank will have either disapeared or magiclly spawned many enemys' who know exactly where you respawned

49.When in need of medical aide call for a supply drop, the crate will be there in no time to crush you to death, thus ending your need for medical aide

50. Asking a Commander for ammo means he will send Artillery with the assumption you catch them and throw them at the enemy.
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Stealth · Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 7:59 pm Post subject:

lol, I don't even play BF2 and that's hilarious.
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ChrisT · Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 8:25 pm Post subject:

yea I saw that on bf2s, really funny stuff, and so true
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CountChocula · Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 8:49 pm Post subject:

yeah, on single player it's fun though Razz

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firefox_71 · Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 8:57 pm Post subject:

those are painfully true

a few truths that are dear to my heart Laughing

For every one enemy you kill with mines, you will kill 2 friendlies and they will both punish the TK .

A crescent wrench can fix anything

If you need tank support, drop a mine on the road and a friendly tank will show up in no time...
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K9 Carlos · Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:02 pm Post subject:

Thats awesome and oh so true.
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-=|CT|=- K9 Carlos

SupaFly wrote:

barreling axe is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway these days

Quote:

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.

ChrisT · Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 2:30 am Post subject:

My fav's(which happened today, all of them):

when your about to cap a base (you have already solely neutralized it) 3 Friendlies will run up the stairs and help you cap it, however right before the flag reaches the top someone will run up with their grenade launcher and pick you, the guy standing on the outside fringe of the 3 guy huddle and shoot you.
Your teamates will not fire a shot until you are dead and they will collect your flag capture points.

When you drive your squad all the way around the other teams front lines so that you can cap a base where noone has spawned, as you near finish capping it your commander will drop artillery on you teamkilling your whole entire squad and not getting a single enemy. Thus giving the other team a free recapture points *cough*Supa*cough*

When you drop artillery as a commander out of the way of your team some friendly will run not to the fringe area of your artillery, not to just inside artillery, but yes the exact center spot where you clicked with your mouse of the artillery strike as shells fall down around them.

The more you want to get a ride out of the deserted behind the lines outpost, the less likely you are to get one. Instead your teamate will spawn and grab the 1 humvee that happens to spawn as he does leaving you in the dust to wait till that humvee is blown and respawns.

No matter how skilled you are at the tank, the one guy who is a total retard, has never used a tank before, and is currently has the anti-tank kit, will get it <- Everytime
He will then proceed to getting no kills, because he runs over fox's friendly mines <- everytime

The spec ops and medic unlocks are far more accurate and deadly than the sniper rifles. The only thing you get with a sniper kit is a pretty little one sided binocular lense.

The one time you finally slip in past the other higher ranks on your team, and achieve the position of your commander, your team will get obliterated in less than 5 minutes, no matter what you do for them. The ending score will be 275-0 and you will have more kills than 19/20 of your team.

***and lastly my bitch for today:

The one time you are commanding and get a decent team you will end up dominating, having the highest score for commander that you have ever had. As the round draws to a close in your favor a pesky spec ops will blow your assets. You will then proceed to announce, I need someone to repair the assets, when noone follows your plea you will then repeat it and say please repair the commander assets. Then your screen will go black and you will be looking at the server selection screen with a friendly message from punkbuster saying: you have been kicked for using inappropriate language the details are below:
You have been kicked for saying "ASS"

You do not pass go, you do not collect your 2x bonus, and by the time you rejoin the map has changed, and some whitty shmuck has picked up your commander position and guess what he and his pall commanding on the other team are both higher ranks than you, so don't count on waiting around for next round.
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firefox_71 · Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 6:03 pm Post subject:

Slaughter wrote:

He will then proceed to getting no kills, because he runs over fox's friendly mines <- everytime

Every time? Yes, every fargin' time Evil or Very Mad

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2shoes · Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 1:20 pm Post subject:

heres some shit that should not be true but is in EA's world an M1A1 abrams tank will not blow an APC up with 4 rounds after all depleted uranium 238 rounds just dent armor
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Sparrow wrote:

...if pirates stays on bf1942 i'd hate to see the community grow even smaller, but i know i'll always be around and i hope the rest of you will too!

Special Jimmy wrote:

This mod is rightfully ours, and fuck everyone that stands in our way.

fair winds and following seas, lil shoes 8/3/94-6/23/09

AxeBlind · Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 2:52 pm Post subject:

Eh the game is all fake anyway, most are, I daresay 90% of soldiers cannot take any kind of bullet to an unproteceted chest and still walk around like nothing happened. But BF games are the worst, some take like 5 or more and still rape your ass.
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2shoes · Posted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 4:57 pm Post subject:

3 shotty rounds to the head and i still got owned
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Sparrow wrote:

...if pirates stays on bf1942 i'd hate to see the community grow even smaller, but i know i'll always be around and i hope the rest of you will too!

Special Jimmy wrote:

This mod is rightfully ours, and fuck everyone that stands in our way.

fair winds and following seas, lil shoes 8/3/94-6/23/09

theboomboom · Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:07 am Post subject:

I love that list. But it needs something about lag...
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2shoes · Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:47 pm Post subject:

ok i have had BF2 a week now and heres what i have to say

this is EVERCRACK and or WOW for folks that dont believe in dragons
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Sparrow wrote:

...if pirates stays on bf1942 i'd hate to see the community grow even smaller, but i know i'll always be around and i hope the rest of you will too!

Special Jimmy wrote:

This mod is rightfully ours, and fuck everyone that stands in our way.

fair winds and following seas, lil shoes 8/3/94-6/23/09

SupaFly · Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 5:44 pm Post subject:

2shoes wrote:

ok i have had BF2 a week now and heres what i have to say

this is EVERCRACK and or WOW for folks that dont believe in dragons

feel free to use my userbar, lol
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Roscoe · Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 5:45 pm Post subject:

Oh so true Crying or Very sad

sadly... I had a ping of 372 while erwin had about a 120 and the server was in Texas. I walk a step forward I am five steps backwards...oh bf2 rocks Confused

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