For all you Chuck Norris fans

chipsahoy · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 3:33 pm Post subject: For all you Chuck Norris fans

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty
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SpecialJimmy wrote:

I respect women, I fear the Chips

CountChocula · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 4:07 pm Post subject:

these things are EVERYWHERE

edit:

Quote:

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".

LMAO
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Quote:

[20:43] -≠∫ĆŤ∫≠- ŜρξčļαГ јỈмMﻻ: we'll aim for bender
[20:43] -≠∫ĆŤ∫≠- ŜρξčļαГ јỈмMﻻ: but use a lot of napalm

Last edited by CountChocula on Mon Dec 12, 2005 4:10 pm; edited 1 time in total

ChrisT · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 4:09 pm Post subject:

I love it
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CountChocula · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 4:20 pm Post subject:

http://www.4q.cc/t/index.php?topthirty

LMAO, the Mr. T ones are better!
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Quote:

[20:43] -≠∫ĆŤ∫≠- ŜρξčļαГ јỈмMﻻ: we'll aim for bender
[20:43] -≠∫ĆŤ∫≠- ŜρξčļαГ јỈмMﻻ: but use a lot of napalm

firefox_71 · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 5:10 pm Post subject:

Quote:

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

you gonna take that? I think you should call chuck norris and tell him you are all gonna roundhouse kick him in the face Very Happy

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AxeBlind · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 5:49 pm Post subject:

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Wow too many good ones just click the link.
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GotMilk? · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 7:32 pm Post subject:

Some more I found:

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day.
The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the Blue Ringed Octopus of Eastern Australia, is the most venemous creature on Earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: Fever, Blurred Vision, Beard Rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Chuck Norris hates midgets and is developing a special lower version of his roundhouse kick just for them.

CountChocula · Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 11:20 pm Post subject:

Chuck Norris has only ever lost one fight. It was against Ghandi, lasted 72 days, and spanned 6 dimensions.

edit: okay, my all time FAVORITE one

Chuck Norris knew the "Secret of the Ooze" before Splinter or Shredder.
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Quote:

[20:43] -≠∫ĆŤ∫≠- ŜρξčļαГ јỈмMﻻ: we'll aim for bender
[20:43] -≠∫ĆŤ∫≠- ŜρξčļαГ јỈмMﻻ: but use a lot of napalm

AxeBlind · Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2005 12:15 am Post subject:

Ok, we need a Chuck Norris fan club, who will be the President?
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anonymousity · Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2005 12:54 am Post subject:

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♥♪!?

chipsahoy · Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2005 4:59 pm Post subject:

Here are some more funny ones Smile

Chuck Norris is not a vegetarian. He knows that extended periods of vegetarianism only lead to a multitude of small vaginas growing on your skin until you eventually become a giant p*ssy.

Chuck Norris broke his own leg, purely for the sake of winning the Special Olympics.

CNN was originally the Chuck Norris Network but was later changed to a news station because the awesomeness of a Chuck Norris network kept blowing up satellites, TVs, and viewers eyeballs

Chuck Norris defeated the Canadian Army with a rusty wooden spoon.

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Takeru Kobayashi ate 50 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes. Chuck Norris ate 12 asian babies in 50 and a half minutes. Chuck Norris won.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't !&$% with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the $!@% out of little kids.

Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

Chuck Norris punched a woman in the !@!@!@ when she didn't give him exact change.

Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and $!@% on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.

If you unscramble the letters in "Chuck Norris" you get "Huck corn, sir." That is why every fall, Chuck travels to Nebraska and burns the entire state down.
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SpecialJimmy wrote:

I respect women, I fear the Chips

Erwin Rommel · Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2005 6:02 pm Post subject:

K9 wrote:

1 Chuck Norris thread is plently

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AxeBlind · Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2005 6:09 pm Post subject:

It can never be enough!
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Cpt. LandLubber · Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 12:41 am Post subject:

chipsahoy wrote:

Chuck Norris defeated the Canadian Army with a rusty wooden spoon.

gold!

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Bender · Posted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 3:00 pm Post subject:

chipsahoy wrote:

Chuck Norris defeated the Canadian Army with a rusty wooden spoon.

ROFLCAKES
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Like most of life's problems, this one can be solved with bending.

2:50 AM - -=|CT|=- Dr. Crunk: whenever a girl is like "oh what are you thinking about"
2:50 AM - -=|CT|=- Dr. Crunk: i say nothing cause saying dudes wouldn't go over well

3:34 PM - El.Tawxic: I wish I was a horse