Joke Thread

K9 Carlos · Posted: Tue May 03, 2005 8:08 am Post subject:

Revenge

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They
had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an
angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to
life. The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred
blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes
to do what you've wished to do the most." He looks at her, she looks at him, and
they go running off together behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as
the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return,
out of breath and laughing. The angel tells them, "Um, you have fifteen minutes
left." The male statue asks the woman statue, "Would you like to do it again?"
"Oh, yes let's," she replies! "But let's change positions. This time, I'll hold
the pigeon down, and you shit on its head.
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-=|CT|=- K9 Carlos

SupaFly wrote:

barreling axe is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway these days

Quote:

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.

K9 Carlos · Posted: Thu May 05, 2005 2:39 pm Post subject:

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

D A M N I T O L

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T

Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious
for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N

Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how
awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O

Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents
conception.

D U M B E R O L

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment
of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to
flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N

Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines
as: "You make me want to be a better person...Can we get naked now?"

BUYAGRA

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and
credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N

Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary,
phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

A N T I - T A L K S I D E N T

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share
their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T

When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level
as nagging him
_________________
-=|CT|=- K9 Carlos

SupaFly wrote:

barreling axe is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway these days

Quote:

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.

K9 Carlos · Posted: Wed May 18, 2005 2:14 pm Post subject:

Red neck vacation

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther,"Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different."

"The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant."

"Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene got pregnant again."

"Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant again."

Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earlene with me."
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-=|CT|=- K9 Carlos

SupaFly wrote:

barreling axe is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway these days

Quote:

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.

firefox_71 · Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 4:39 pm Post subject:

a pic of the puerto rican soccer team
Laughing

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K9 Carlos · Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 4:58 pm Post subject:

firefox_71 wrote:

a pic of the puerto rican soccer team
Laughing

_________________
-=|CT|=- K9 Carlos

SupaFly wrote:

barreling axe is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway these days

Quote:

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.

2shoes · Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:55 pm Post subject:

hmm sprite had last post so he in all reality spent more time on it so umm...

Wang Edit: Yeash, I deleted all those bitch posts. Don't ruin the joke thread for the rest of us. Take it outside if you really care that much.
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Sparrow wrote:

...if pirates stays on bf1942 i'd hate to see the community grow even smaller, but i know i'll always be around and i hope the rest of you will too!

Special Jimmy wrote:

This mod is rightfully ours, and fuck everyone that stands in our way.

fair winds and following seas, lil shoes 8/3/94-6/23/09

Drunken Monkey · Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 6:50 pm Post subject:

brutus has to read this

http://www.gamespy.com/articles/624/624196p1.html
_________________
YAT YAS

if You Ain't Tracks, You Ain't Shit

K9 Carlos · Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 8:10 pm Post subject:

Drunken Monkey wrote:

brutus has to read this

http://www.gamespy.com/articles/624/624196p1.html

Why does this go in the joke thread?
_________________
-=|CT|=- K9 Carlos

SupaFly wrote:

barreling axe is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway these days

Quote:

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.

Drunken Monkey · Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 12:22 pm Post subject:

errr because it is makeing fun of gamers that join the mil.................? and it IS funnny.
_________________
YAT YAS

if You Ain't Tracks, You Ain't Shit

K9 Carlos · Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 8:46 am Post subject:

A salesman checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely.

He was single so he got to thinking about some female company.

So, he thought he'd get one of those girls you see advertised in phone books

from one of the "escort" services. He picked a number and dialed it.

A woman answered, "Hello?"

"Hi, I hear you do escorts and massages and I'd like you to come to my hotel room and give me a massage.

And after that I want sex!

In fact I want jungle sex . . . wild, crazy hanging-from-the-chandelier type sex!

I'm talking kinky, the whole night, you name it we'll do it!

Bring all kinds of sex toys too! I don't care what they are; you can use them on me! You can even tie me up and then cover me in whipped cream!

Now how does that sound?" he asked.

The woman said, "Interesting sir, but for an outside line you press 9."
_________________
-=|CT|=- K9 Carlos

SupaFly wrote:

barreling axe is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway these days

Quote:

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.

Cpt. LandLubber · Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 10:24 am Post subject:

freaky party pic I got from another forum

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firefox_71 · Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 10:31 am Post subject:

screw that party, it's a dude ranch.... I think Laughing

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Stealth · Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 6:13 pm Post subject:

Oh man, the dude who's standing up...

that sweater vest is looking sexy Gay

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Motherfucking Triangles! Being all three sided n' shit, who do they think they are?!

ChrisT · Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 2:41 am Post subject:

omg, i thought they were just some ugly bitches.
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Submit to Milky Way

Corbin · Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 11:01 am Post subject:

it just loks like a bunch of wana be yuppies. but why would a wna be yuppie be drinking beer, should he be holding a pussy as cosmo or somethign
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Its been a While my dear Ct